Bullshit Police Arrest's L'Oreal Volume Million Lashes


After our bullshit bedtime story, it gives me great pleasure to make the next bullshit arrest.

Bullshit police hereby arrests L'Oreal Volume Million Lashes!



So, what is so bullshit about this ad- you ask me?

I have 3 BIG issues with it.

First, the name - Volume Million lashes.  

What the fuck is that?  

And gawd, when will these ridiculous names and claims stop?  

Well, if I may borrow a quote from The Social Network-
"Million Lashes is Not Cool, Billion Lashes is Cool!"

And the beauty of this is, with this name, they do not have to prove anything- 
because Volume Million Lashes is a product name, not a claim so they do not even have to support this with fake tests.


Second, are those testimonials that appear in their website.


L'Oreal, testimonials that are conducted by yourself, however genuine they seem or they are- 

DO NOT COUNT.

Testimonials should be from neutral parties.  Leave the testimonials to the beauty bloggers.  

You have no business publishing testimonials which you yourself have conducted.  
That is unethical.

The third and the BIGGEST issue I have is the word "NEW".  

With L'Oreal, everything is NEW.  Well it is NOT 

 Gawd, a mascara cannot be as basic as this one- so they had to compensate by this ridiculous name.

Tell you what dear readers, I will teach you how to create a NEW Innovative L'Oreal product.  

Just follow the instructions below:


And as a subnote, if you go to L'Oreal website- you will be impressed by the really high tech animation of opening the brush.  

I look forward for the next launch when they will make it into a digital 3D animation.  
Though I do not expect much of a new product.

So, the bullshit verdict is 10/10.  They have made a totally ordinary, really old product totally NEW.  

But, L'Oreal bullshit is getting so old and predictable.  
Time to inject new blood in your organization guys!

20 comments:

  1. Brilliant. I fucking LOVE this blog.

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  2. I have a great friend who once advised me when dealing with Jerk boyfriends- do not tell them what they did wrong, they will learn how to evade that and be a better jerk to the next girlfriend.

    Well, here, i run the risk of informing L'Oreal why they are a jerk and they will learn to be better jerks. But, the heck, we just have to be better jerk detectors after.

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  3. hahahaha. your blog just brightens my day.

    On an aside, I hate l'oreal mascaras. They always suck.

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  4. I love what you said, I think l'oreal is hideous sometimes

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  5. Thank you for your words of appreciation!
    Call me easy- but they really brighten my day!

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  6. L'Oreal is the WORST! I never believe a word they say because they've paid a sleb a million squid to say it.

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  7. I think they know or at least suspect what they are and what some people think of them, that's why they buy other companies, like Essie or The Body Shop and don't tell anyone.
    And if they tell, they do it in places where "normal shopping people" don't look, in papers that are not read by many people.

    You know, this actually reminds me of a part in "A Hitchhikers Guide through the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams.
    There is a guy named Arthur and some company wants his house destroyed to make room for a bypass road. Prosser is the company guy and Arthur is Arthur ^^

    Read, it's funny ;)

    Prosser: But the plans were on display.
    Arthur Dent: On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar.
    Prosser: That's the display department.
    Arthur Dent: With a torch.
    Prosser: The lights had probably gone.
    Arthur Dent: So had the stairs.
    Prosser: But you did see the notice, didn't you?
    Arthur Dent: Oh, yes. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign outside the door saying "Beware of the Leopard." Ever thought of going into advertising?


    Love that part ^^

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  8. Hi caitlyn- Oh i lurv that. I just saw the movie- but that must be a remake non?

    BTW- my apologies for not posting yet- I am stuck on this article- it is informative but it doesn't have the kick yet. I am stuck, stuck, stuck! Ok, I will go to spinning class with this sexy instructor guy and perhaps, when i come back, the article will be posted. tata!

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  9. I once saw a part of the movie, but I didn't like it at all ^^ the books are so funny and hilarious, but the movie was just ... really not my thing. ^^

    I absolutely love almost all of Terry Pratchett's books and sometimes I really would like them made into movies or a series, but they're just unfilmable, I guess ^^
    I think there is actually one Terry Pratchett movie ... I think I saw it once partly ... and also was disappointed ^^ maybe that humor and special fun in the books is just not translatable into movies or series.

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  10. Das ist mein erstes Gewinnspiel, du kannst dir ein Guess Produkt aussuchen, egal ob Jacke, Schuhe oder Tasche. Mit etwas Glück könnte es klappen,

    schau vorbei

    jorge-alexander.com

    Liebe Grüße : )

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  11. Wow Jorge Alexander- I didn't imagine that my blog is now spam-worthy! There must be a good side to this non?

    For now, it is amusing, but if it gets out of hand, I will have to delete spammers in the future. So don't tell your friends, just you- ok?

    Liebe Grüße!

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  12. Hi Caitlyn!

    I am not supposed to leak this out yet, but this blog will have some sister blogs where we can talk about more general interest things and gawd these book recommendations would be perfect there- so hold on to your best recommendations please? please?
    I will definitely check out Terry Pratchett! Cheers!

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  13. heehee :) yeah, why not ;)
    Terry Pratchett is so worth it, though I must say his best work are the discworld-novels and from them those without Rincewind ^^ but all those with the three witches and the City Watch

    ... but if you like, I would be happy to write short recommendations on certain books ;)

    (you might want to proof-read them though, since English is not my mother-tongue ;))

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  14. i will read them in barcelona! woohoo!

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  15. I'm new to your blog!
    You couldn't be more right with this! So spot on.
    I'm impressed.
    XXX

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  16. Hello Hershey's Sweet Kiss, Mercedes-Ms purple Make Up,

    Welcome and thanks for the kudos!

    ReplyDelete
  17. You forgot to add the other thing we should have Big Issues with - nobody gets lashes like the ones in mascara ads without putting on FALSIES (or Photoshop)...including the models! Mascara ad lashes are fake, fake, fake and are truly false advertising about product results.

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