Two Sure Fire Ways to Make You Buy More MakeUp

Photo Credit: Joan Crawford

You might say I am one lucky biatch for having a dream job in cosmetics.

Well it might have been fun and glam, but when you think about it, after all the jetsetting, the company credit card, the free make up, the glamorous photoshoots, the picking on models- the very essence of what i do is this-
I make sure you will spend more on make up year after year after year.
Let us say you spent 500$ last year and this year you spent only 490$.

One thing is absolutely certain. However well i wiggle my perfect peach shaped arse before the council of the clueless- the only way it is heading is to the unemployment office.

If you spent 515$, that is just 3% increase on a 6% growth rate industry, that is not good enough- I will still be fired but they will give me a slow, painful death- making sure that I suffer during council presentations by quizzing me the growth rate history of the discontinued lipstick used by David Bowie when he was Ziggy Stardust in the 80s.

My personal record (if I may brag) is a 13% increase in your spending.   Yes, I am your mommy.

Yet- I am not proud of myself.

You see, If I do not apply any manipulation, the only one real reason that you will buy make up is when you run out of what you are currently using.

Well, we do know that:
  • a good quality nail polish can perhaps be included in your will and testament (Take note- Caitylyn, you are sitting on a treasure chest of 400 nail polishes there- heehee!) 
  • and you will perhaps grow your pinky nail long so you can dig out the last remaining vestige of your favorite lipstick 
  • and gawd knows these freaking powders never expire!

So, if I leave you alone- I will be better off contemplating a career as a civil servant.

But since shuffling documents is not my bag, I since have developed sure fire strategy that will make you buy more than you need.  In essence there are two ways I can increase your spending.  That is by-

1)  Discontinuing the product that you lurv
Have you ever gone out to shop for just one particular product and then found out that it is gone- never to return again, so you have to compensate for its loss by buying not one but 4 replacements and yet, remain feeling empty?
Why, discontinuing your favorite lipstick can be beneficial to me in so many ways, because you will be open to my next step...
 2)  Giving you something exciting and "NEW".  And if i had my way, the following types of new would propel my career to instant councilhood -
  • a scientific breakthrough which will make your lashes give birth to more lashes like gremlins 
  • a  new packaging that vibrates like the romping rabbit  
But what if I do not really have anything new to offer?   What then?

Well- in the next post, I will tell you my Top Ten (or so) Tactics in Faking Newness to make you buy  more makeup.


8 comments:

  1. Short posts, long posts, I'm happy to see them all!

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  2. Hair products, tell us bout hair products!I spent 3 hours last saturday in roaming all the shops for one particular conditioner as after my hairdresser used it and recommend it i simply can not live without it.I dont even remember what was before Kerastase. Is that secondary brainwashing? I am sure I can do better but it works...

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  3. Oh- thanks Sandi! So touched!
    I will try to vary short and long posts and introducing some new exciting subposts along the way (releasing one tomorrow).

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  4. Hi sandra-
    We are on the same boat- I am a sucker for hair products.
    But my bullshit queendom doesn't cover that territory so what i did is asked the shampoo bullshit queen (also retired and fabulous!) to guest post. Fingers crossed she will say yes!

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  5. Oh man, rowena. i TOTALLY fell into the d/c trap when I first found out that Prescriptives was tanking. I got 2 backups from my ultimate all-time fave mascara, False Lashes-- which by the way, is the holy grail of any mascara **stops for a minute to think about the greatness**. I would have got like 4 if i had more $$.

    anyways, i thought this amazing mascara would never been seen from again, but then MAC, since its owned by estee lauder bc everything is owned by estee lauder, is re-incarnating it and marketing it as "false lash effect" mascara.

    So, what pissed me off aside from the fact that my emotions were played with, is that Px is STILL getting inventory i and STILL has their site up...

    lhow long does it take for a makeup company to fully go under? do cosmetic companies have like secret backups of their own? How do good brands tank? I mean I think Px made some pretty legit products. Is it common for brands to re-incarnate old formulas?

    wow sorry for the long post its almost 2am and i can't get thoughts out coherently. LOL

    xoxo
    Yvonne

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  6. ooooh yvonne- you touched a very interesting subject there!

    this question deserves its own blog post- I will write it within the week- sorry to keep you hanging:-)

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  7. "a good quality nail polish can perhaps be included in your will and testament (Take note- Caitylyn, you are sitting on a treasure chest of 400 nail polishes there- heehee!)"

    lololol :)) even roflmao :))) teehee.

    Yeah, I'm also pretty sure that my 400 nail polishes will outlive me ^^ (and yet I don't have a daughter, damn ^^ maybe I can bequeath them to my fave forum to be shared with all the girls there? ^^)

    Sometimes girls ask if they should keep their polishes in the refrigerator or dark cellar or somewhere special or if they should throw them out when they have thickened and dried out ...

    and we then say "oh no, don't, put food in your refrigerator, not nail polish *g* and get some nail polish thinner, there are some with and without toluene available on the market, just fill them into the bottle, shake vigorously, let it sit for a night, shake again, and your polish should be good as new!" :)

    Tried it myself once. Completely dried up polish, like a stone inside. I put in half a bottle of nail polish thinner plus two stainless steel pebbles and shook it. First it turned into a swamp *giggles* but then the thinner worked its way through and after 2 days the polish was thin and normal and as new.

    Of course the old ones still contain toluene, DBP, formaldehyde and other evil, life-threatening, cancer-causing ingredients, that's why I don't use them often.
    Toluene is evil ^^ (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toluene)
    Luckily, most of my polishes don't contain toluene and I can only hope that the ingredients nowadays used are not quite as poisonous as the old ingredients ^^

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