No BS Make Up Guide For Engineers

Author's note:

Could be interesting read for men who just couldn't  understand how "that" could have taken two hours and 14 products.


The only rule in make-up is that there are no rules- yadda yadda yadda. 
- said all those who wrote a whole book on make up.


I know a lot of smart women who just couldn't understand how to put on make up.  
Throw them any problem - and they can solve shit fast.  But when it comes to make up, no amount of youtube how-to-videos or explanation from the friendly avon lady can make them get it. 
I used to be one of them.  And  it is really "unfortunate" that I should land a coveted position in cosmetics.
I studied mechanical engineering - or rather, i crammed my way to an engineering degree. The way i did it then was, i would attend the first class, get the syllabus and see if the teacher will give me anything on top of what I can read in the textbook.

If yes, i attend his classes.  If not, i just show up for exams.

This is not to say I am smarter than the average engineer, mind you - it only says I am lazy.
However,  to actually pass the exams with the least effort, one has to develop a fast and efficient way of learning.  And in this respect, the "Dummies' Guide" Book Series is not my best guide. 

Here is why-
  1. First, the baby talk.  Hate that shit. 
  2. Second, they become apologetic if they had to introduce techno jargons or "difficult concepts"- and the time it took reading their apologies and assuring us that everything will be alright could have been used to actually explaining them.
  3. Then they hit the ground running on the "how" without an explanation of the "why".
Anyway, i found that the best way to learn it is to understand the basic underlying principles - the why before the how. The Engineering Way.

If you understand it enough to derive the formula, then given any variation of the problem - you can figure anything out.  This is how i learned most of what i know anyway, french language included.

And so, without further ado - 

Make Up Guide For Engineers

First, I assume you know what a mascara, lipstick, blush, powder, foundation are.

If not, I think you have a much bigger problem here.  Turn off your computer screen, get out,  lose your virginity  then come back here when you are ready for this lesson.

Anyhoo, so many products- which to use when?
First : Rule of Textures.  Apply from the lighter to heavier texture.
Definition:   A texture is considered lighter if it gets absorbed more easily by the skin.
So, a serum gets to be applied first before a foundation.
A foundation before cream.
And a cream before powder. 
I made you a complete cheatsheet, by order of application- because i lurvs you.
Pretty simple, innit?
Betray this order, say, put powder before your foundation and you will be mixing the two textures up- in a baaad way-like making paste.

Make up is about proper layering, not mixing all the shit up together.

Example application.
Now,  i often hear this phrase-
"put on powder to 'set' the make up".  
What the fuck does that mean?

The word"set" is in the Guinness Book of World Records as the word that has the most meanings- 25 in all, for Webster's sake!  Engineers cannot work with that.

Second:  Rule of Colors. Apply color from light to dark.

Have you ever observed how a water colorist paints?  You haven't? Watch this.
    Same rule goes for make up. Do the light colors first before the darker.
    So you apply foundation before you blush before you contour.

    So that is-
    1. From light to heavy texture.  
    2. From light to dark color. 
    Rule 1 trumps rule 2.   Texture trumps color.
    That means, if you have a light texture darker color, and heavy texture lighter color - the lighter texture gets applied first.
      Third Rule on Applicators.  Use the right material, right size for the right stroke for best results.

      Right Material
      • If you use a liquid formula, you do not want your brush to absorb the liquid.
        So you would like to use a synthetic brush for your emulsions.
      • If you use powder based textures, you have a wide array of choices, from cheaper synthetics to expensive sables.  (For more info look at my special post on brushes).
      Rule is simple, the bigger area you are applying to, the bigger brush you will use.
      This will help you apply more evenly.
      If you want to do precise lines, use a smaller brush.

      And then...

      Then, i finish with the age old adage-

      Once you have learned the rules, then you may fuck with them.

      In doubt?

      You can now follow my mindfarts at tweeter@beautyandtheBS.

      The BB on BB Creams


      Beauty Balm has the same initials as Beauty and the Bullshit. 

      Coincidence?  I think not.

      I have been ignoring all this BB cream hooha for the longest time - i figure that at some point,  all this -

      developed by  ( insert adjective) German doctor,
      does (insert logic-defying miracle wonders) heals scars
      and (call existing feature by a new name)  a skin care and make up all in one
      and used by (insert adjective)Korean actresses

      story is anything but new and I thought, nah, nobody falls for that anymore!

      Or you will find it intriguing, try it, then find that this new cream is the same as the old one and you will move on and be all the wiser after having made cosmetic companies richer just by a few billion dollars. 

      However, the day that some marketing joker who is late in the BB game and had to make it up to his disgruntled executive board else he will lose his job has combined AA(Anti-Ageing) + BB  to come up with the “genius” CC cream or as some version would have it, have color correction aaaaand even go to the length of giving you comparative charts that "guarantee" like this for example-

      and women are now scrambling all over again to rid themselves of the BB  to get the CC – the time has come for a serious bullshit intervention.  Enough of this madness!

      BB creams are bullshit. 

      Think about it.   Just what do all BB creams have in common?
      ·      BB creams can come in all kinds of textures, they could be light to heavy
      ·      They can come in all range of coverage from sheer to full coverage
      ·      They revel in their multifunctionality- some have SPF, some have light diffusing age concealing ingredients, some have healing properties, skin care and makeup in one, concealer too...yadda yadda yadda.

      Well, hello ordinary foundation.  Nothing unifies all BB creams except for that BB story. 

      So ask yourself before you junk your ordinary liquid foundation for some BB or CC or whatever the FF cream they might be peddling next- aside from that tired story, what difference does your BB and CC cream have from your “ordinary” liquid foundation?


      There are 3 morals to this story-
      1. Don’t junk your old trusted cream to try the BB just because it is BB
      2. And don’t pay for more just because it’s BB.
      3. Insert (new name)CC to BB in the first 2 statements whenever something new comes along.