My Top 7 Tactic To make you Buy More Makeup

(photo nicked from
Author’s Note : 
This post is male-friendly.

To those new to this blog, this is a countdown of the top 10 tactics I employ to make you buy more cosmetics. 
You can read the top 10 here, top 9 here, top 8 here

If you can’t blind them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

- Ancient Marketing Adage

There are times when there is an ambition to earn much more than a crappy product merits.

In these times, no ordinary bullshit can do the job. 

It is the time when marketeers rise to the challenge, raise their sleeves, quit fooling around with petty bullshit and tie-up with the world’s oldest profession to unleash what could be one of the most potent artillery in the history of marketing- 

Top 7 Tactic : Blind with Brilliance. 

Now, now... before you think that there may be intelligent life lurking in marketing, let me stop and tell you that by “Brilliance”,  I do not mean Albert Einstein, but rather Lady Gaga

Yes, we hire a celebrity, a star so mindblindingly bright - that you temporarily lose your capacity for logic and any mindfartery* we emit will seem like the special theory of relativity. 

To expound, best to give you examples. 

Let me use the explanation of Christopher Walken in a scene from the movie Catch Me if You Can

Still not clear? 

See this video of Angelia Jolie campaigning about … er, something. Can’t remember what she said but gawd, her lips! 

Now, practical application in cosmetics. Take a look at this. 

Become A Lash Millionaire? WTF is the copywriter sniffing? 

But, wait, let us now factor in La Longoria … 

and Voila! 
Yes, me want millionaire lash become now! 


Exhibit 2. 

Haute Nutrition? Again, what in the name of french merde is that?
For all I know, that could be serum derived from whale testicles.

Now, look again-

It's Sharon Fucking Stone!
135$?  Here take all my money!


Ok, we know that you know that we bribe and we bind by contract these celebs to like our products - much like how prostitution works.

But in spite of this open understanding, this tactic remains potent - why?

You see, time and again, research shows that when you see celebrities used in advertising,  these are your thoughts:
  1.  that company is so confident of its products that it is wiling to invest in an expensive celebrity to spread the word 
  2.  that celebrities are careful about their image and thus will not accept to endorse any product that will cause to tarnish their image 

The truth is this-
  1.  Investment in celebrity is not a function of belief in product greatness but rather ambition of the sales it can rake in. Just look- you will often find celebrity endorsement in lipstick, mascara, foundation (the 3 biggest product sellers in makeup), anti aging creams, hair dyes.
     In countries where hair products rake in big sales, you will find celebrity endorsement in shampoo.
     Where there is big money- there is celebrity endorsement.
    The greater the moolah, the bigger the kahuna.
  2.  Aside from embarrassing products as athlete’s foot powder, vaginal itch cream, denture glue, adult diapers … (I can go on and on but you get the idea…)- celebrities will endorse anything and endorsement goes to the highest bidder. It is all about the money. 


Celebrities, those are - actresses, models, singers, TV personalities, athletes are our obvious partners but those who “touch” celebrities also have the ability to reflect celebrity mind-blinding brilliance.

Think make up artists, hairdressers and stylists.

So long as they can name drop celebrities, they can inspire celebrity awe.

On this subject, I find that the true talented artists are professional and are pleasurable to work with. But the newbies, the amateurs, the parvenus are often such pains in the arse. The less talent they have, the more divaesque they act. I would name names, but they would be no one of recognition.

Professional Prostitues

Now, celebrities being paid product prostitutes I would understand.

After all, that is their craft- to fake it so well that they’re beyond fake (to quote Courtney Love). As consumers, we know that faking it is what they do for a living.

What makes my blood boil is when supposed “professionals” of the medical profession partake in the endorsement game.

This is what I am talking about:
  • Dentists endorsing a brand of toothbrush/toothpaste/mouthwash (ok so dentists are quasi-doctors, but you get my drift) 
  • Dental associations giving their seal of approval to the highest bidder (this is soooo corrupt and big money goes to association officers) 
  • “Celebrity” dermatologists acting as spokespersons for any brand 
  • Any professional acting as spokesperson for a company’s germ, disease scare tactic 
Consumers pay these so called professionals for an unbiased opinion - so when instead you hear a scare campaign to to promote a product – I say basta!

Shame, shame, shame on you professional prostitutes!

Now, you might defend them by saying that they are presenting a valid medical concern.

Well in medicine, you will find that for every professional opinion, there is always another medical professional that can present a contrary opinion with equally convincing studies.
If you have watched any of these tv series on lawyers, you will see how goes the drill.

And why else do you often ask for a second opinion on serious medical diagnosis?

“Unbiased Journalists”

On the international level, I believe that journalistic bias is not so much on companies or products but rather on countries. (You wouldn’t expect CNN to give an arab point of view against the US, would you?)

But if you go on the local level, these journalists could be so damn dirty with product endorsements!
  • Magazine covers are for sale for the companies celebity endorsers (well, this is true for international magazines as well) 
  • Whole segments of “documentaries” are produced on contamination then followed by a soap commercial 
  • Supposed neutral documentaries, testimonials on products – skin care, slimming integrated in content with purchase of commercials 
and please feel free to add examples from your own experience...

I say that, yes, media has the right to earn money to sustain its operations. But they must present advertising as such and content as another. If content is paid in any form or manner – the journalist has the obligation to state so. (Well, thing is, in the ideal world, this shouldn't happen but does)

You say that these goodie bags, fees, gifts, fancy event invitations do not affect a writer’s opinion? Whatever.

State the facts.
And leave the readers decide if your opinion was indeed unbiased or not.
And if you received an all-expense paid luxury vacation, disproportionate amount of compensation and expensive goodie bags - chances are, you were not.


A post script on product samples.

I know that beauty bloggers are constantly bombarded by product samples.
And most bloggers state that these do not affect their opinion.

I say that these samples are peanuts to cosmetic companies and yes, it should not affect blogger's opinions nor should they be indebted to give a good critique or to give a critique at all. 

It could be dang expensive to buy all products to review and this will facilitate the task of the blogger.

On the other hand, bloggers should return samples if no longer needed and have the right to ask PR companies for a means to return the samples without financial burden on the blogger's part so as to absolve the blogger the "obligation" for a positive product review.

Blogger fell in love with product and want to keep the sample?  State it then.

But receiving anymore than samples and blogger will be treading on murky waters and requires complete transparency to the readers.

Bloggers have the potential to make a dent in the universe - but we must remain vigilant on practices lest we will go the way of classical corrupt media.

And if a beauty company's PR company pressures bloggers for a review just because they gave out these dinghy samples, why- you can blog about how pushy these PR companies are!

*yes, mindfartery, mindfart, mindflatulence deserve to be valid words. Origin: marketing


  1. I know this post is really overdue. Shame, shame on me!
    I normally would not share so much personal details on my blog but just to let you know that i did not mean to be so untrue to my word.
    My mum has been in the hospital and i've been there with her all the time.
    Really sorry to keep you waiting so long!

  2. Thanks for another great post Rowena. I alsway get a little excited when I see one of your posts come up in my reader!
    I hope your Mum is better :)

  3. Thanks Sara-May! It's mum's birthday tomorrow.

  4. I'm sorry your mother is unwell, and I hope she's on the mend.

    I was delighted to see a new post by you today. "Mindfartery." And you included Christopher Walken in your post! Marry me?

  5. "Minfartery" was supposed to have a hearty *snort* after it, but Blogger censored!! I blame the angle brackets.

  6. I suspect that beauty magazines recommend products based on how many pages of advertising the company has bought. I see products from brands that heavily advertise (such as Maybelline or Covergirl) recommended quite frequently. MAC is a brand that rarely advertises in beauty magazines, and I typically only see a MAC product being recommended when I see their occasional Viva Glam ad running in the mag. I don't even think it matters if the product is good or not. Maybelline's Great Lash consistently gets horrible reviews on sites like Makeup Alley, but magazines keep on raving about it. If you look through the magazine, you'll find no less than four full page ads from Maybelline.

  7. 1. People who think celebrity means something definitely need to be educated about this, yes. (I on the other hand harbor no illusions that fame = value. So happily, this stuff doesn't work on me. :D)

    2. I really don't see why people are so insane about bloggers being supposedly sullied by samples. If I were a blogger getting those things I'd do honest reviews, letting the companies know that if they did send me stuff, it would be at their own risk of being...honestly reviewed. What's the big deal?

    3. I really, really fricking HATE the mindless repeating of the "oldest profession" bullshit. Is it REALLY? What evidence is there for that? This fake "fact" was made up by men to legitimize the commodification of women. Please let's not spread this harmful lie.

  8. "by “Brilliance”, I do not mean Albert Einstein, but rather Lady Gaga. " OMG best wording ever :-))))
    Oh and by "Sharon Fucking Stone" you mean "Sharon Photoshopped Stone", right? Because she hasn't looked like that for the past 15 years.

  9. Great post, as always, I laughed like hell. :D I'm sorry to hear about your mother, I hope she'll get well soon!

  10. I checked my Google Reader hoping to find a post from you and voila!

    Hope your mom is feeling better.

  11. Hi Zuzu!
    I would marry you back, but I am already engaged to Christopher Walken! (not that he knows it).
    Oops- excuse my mindfart!

  12. Hi Deb!
    Right on the dot!
    Magazines have these package deals- buy so much ads and you will be mentioned in an article they are running.
    A little more and they will write a seemingly neutral article that supports your brand's scare tactics.
    Buy yet some more and you get the cover, an article on your celebrity.
    In some countries, they will even make a second highly commercial cover of the magazine just for your brand!

  13. Hi Someone!
    Respect for your opinion and admiration for your speaking your mind!

  14. Hi MusingOnBeauty!
    Haha- yes, i mean Sharon Photoshop Stone!

  15. Hi Ulmiel,

    Thank you! Yes, hopefully my mum will be released from hospital anytime soon- but now, i found a system how i can write while in the hospital. No internet though:-(

  16. Thank you HoneyJr-
    yes, working on the next post now:-)

  17. Hi there you master of controversy, you can just make the simple complicated and the other way around... in such way that we don't even have time realizing... make our brain cells work, or keep sleeping :)... Hypnotic
    By the way, hope your mom is being better, and send you best wishes and PLAIN DE COURAGE!!!

    An old fiend you should recognize... bullshit or what... :)
    Keep well, all the best!!

  18. Hope Mom is feeling much better.

    Glad to see you back. Please consider 'mind flatulence' officially stolen, It will come in very handy for the next year and a half.

  19. Ahhhh I am so happy to see another post from you! I love how you pick apart ads, it makes me more aware when I see new products

  20. I guess I knew that magazines were paid-off but I have still been optimistically hoping that they had some integrity. Do all magazine's mention products based on the money thrown at them? Aren't there any that follow basic journalistic honesty. I know you don't usually name-names, but if there is even a single noble magazine, could you please name it?

    Hope your mom is feeling better!

  21. Hi MarcO!
    Wow, I can do that? Heehee!
    Thank you for your goodwishes.

  22. Hi Sandi!
    And it is always a pleasure to get a comment from you.
    Steal mindflatulence away!

  23. Thanks K!
    And really glad to be back and a pleasure hearing regularly from you!

  24. Hello DeLacy!
    Magazines need to make money and that is from advertising.
    Think about it, they would be careful in tackling subjects that would irk major advertisers - so exposing their BS would be walking on thin ice.
    I wish I could but I can't because i wouldn't be privy to any of them and it would be unfair to generalize from this vantage point.

    Just be aware to observe the ads, the nature of the article- then follow the money trail. If an article will lead you to spend on a particular brand advertised at the same time, then it will be fair to suspect that deals have been made.

  25. Thank you everyone for the well wishes for my mum! Still in the hospital but doing better each passing day.

  26. In my country, beauty brands can "buy" an award from magazine editor! (which they stick shamelessly at the shelves next to their products)

    And I know it because I was an editor. But it's not the editor's fault you see, we need advertisers to pay our salary, in fact every magazine sold is a loss because, seriously, do you expect the printing/staff/paper cost so little?

    I think the only saving grace is for consumers to be more vigilant, savvy and prudent.

    By the way, my prayers go to your mum - hope she gets better soon!!

  27. This comment has been removed by the author.

  28. Dear beautysorority,

    Thank you, thank you for sharing this! I know it is tough to call on something amiss in something that puts food on the table.

    And yes, I feel the pain- I will have to make this blog a commercial one and dealings with advertisers is a major concern. To earn money without compromising content- tough, but will never know till i give it a try.

    Thank you for the well wishes for mum. She is out the hospital now but gawd, she wants to eat everything she is not allowed to. What's a girl to do?

  29. You're not only hilarious but completely on the mark. Following now. :)

  30. 1. I hope your mother is better now. God bless her! (and no offense meant if you don't believe in God)

    2. I love the font in the comment section. Its sexyy!!

    3. Totally agree about everything you wrote here - especially the one about dentists and bloggers. I mean, they have a responsibility. If a doctor tells me that they think a particular brand of toothpaste is good for my teeth, I WILL think of buying it - maybe even buy it. So evil!

    4. Love your blog. Please keep writing. May the power be with you!

  31. Hi Liz!
    Thank you! Your taking the time to write these few words ae really appreciated!

  32. Hi rain Girl!
    Thank you for the well wishes, she is better now!
    My mum is catholic and no offense at all! That is why i write gawd and not God so as not to take the name in vain in respect to my mum.
    In fact i will be writing about God, science and religion soon (another ambitious, risky subject- but a girls gotta speak her mind).

    Cant take credit on the font, but thanks!

    Have a long streak of bad experience with dentists in my country of origin and- gawd...they're eeeevil!

    Oh yes, I will keep on writing- in fact am accumulating new articles and am just waiting for the new blog design- so you will see it now anytime soon! Gawd it took me so long but heck.

  33. Glad to read your mom's better!

    And thanx for another eye-opening post (aren't they all?! :) )

    I also wanted to tell you I've got my own website now, so if you'd change my link (there, on your blogroll) I'd be really thankful!
    And this time I remembered to add your blog to my list of favourites :D

  34. Truly well said, you make SO many excellent points!
    Once again, an insightful post truly worth reading..!

  35. Hi Euforilla! Thank you!
    I will change the link (or haven't i yet?) cheers!

  36. Thank you Tina! Always a pleasure to hear from you!

  37. Thank you thank you THANK YOU for this!!! I want to share this with THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In fact, I think I will ;-) haha!


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