PMS Journals: Dignity in Humility

My mum, as she wil remain in my eyes
Today, I have witnessed my mother hold on to the last vestiges  of her pride.

She is one gracious woman, who prides herself for being the proper lady.  At the age of 71, she would boast that so far, in spite of her sicknesses, she has always been in control of herself, her mind and her body functions.

In her hospital bed, with dextrose on her arm and air tube stuck in her nostrils- she insisted to go to the bathroom, resisted all efforts for a bedpan or diapers inspite of doctors orders to lie down, inspite of the fact that she cannot support her weight.  She had to be held down by several nurses.  And yet she insisted- tearing away all the tubes attached to her body.

After an eternity of battling, she gave up, peed in her bed and wept.  And I felt her tears.

Mom, the human body is frail.  It will give up on us before our consciousness does.
Accepting this takes humility.  And there is much more dignity in that.

You will always be the dignified human being in my eyes even if your body will have given up on you.

I love my mum.



Drawn by my nephew, Mox

40 comments:

  1. SuzanneJuly 18, 2011 at 5:15 AM

    And now I think I love her too.

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  2. UnknownJuly 18, 2011 at 5:17 AM

    *applause* for posting this!
    I am sending your mom some good energy, just remember that we are always here if you ever need to talk...

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  3. Haute_StyleJuly 18, 2011 at 6:41 AM

    Sending heartfelt thoughts, hugs and kisses to your mum and yourself. Big hugs and kisses xoox

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  4. RowenaJuly 18, 2011 at 7:56 AM

    Thank you Suzanne, Claudia, Haute_Style! Your thoughts are reassuring in these times of uncertainty.

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  5. AnonymousJuly 18, 2011 at 8:15 AM

    Aww thats so sad, my thoughts are with you

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  6. Musing on BeautyJuly 18, 2011 at 9:11 AM

    Sorry to read that, sending good vibes your way. I went through witnessing how the human body gives up, with my mom as well, so I do feel your pain.

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  7. fingersJuly 18, 2011 at 11:51 AM

    That's the hardest thing all humans face. The body stops long before the mind is ready. Am sending good thoughts to you and your mom.

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  8. too_busy_to_stitchJuly 18, 2011 at 11:51 AM

    I remember similar with my mum - I loved (and love) her too. It's very hard for all involved, and sending good thoughts to you all. Stay strong, how lucky your mum is to have you.

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  9. MeJuly 18, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    I love your mother's spirit. Your post made me both happy and sad. My mother, who is also 71, is rapidly deteriorating, but her body is still strong. Her mind is so confused and forgets almost everything except the past. I know she would fight the tubes, too, and I'd be right there with her.

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  10. UnknownJuly 18, 2011 at 6:27 PM

    Hi Rowena,

    Thank you for your interest in iFabbo. In order to process your application, we need you to send us your email address to info@ifabbo.com.

    Thanks!
    The iFabbo Team

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousJuly 18, 2011 at 10:19 PM

    Be strong, Rowena, for you and for her. After reading the text I'm pretty sure that her legacy transcended her.
    Let's pray for the best.

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  12. ElenaJuly 21, 2011 at 3:38 AM

    Your mom is a force of nature. All my love and thoughts for you and her.

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  13. RowenaJuly 22, 2011 at 3:06 AM

    Dear Miss.K, Musing on Beauty, Fingers, too_busy_to_stitch, Zuzu's Petals, Miucha Fritsch, Elena-
    Thank you very much for sending your positive energy our way. My mum went home from the hospital yesterday after a biopsy, result of which will be known in a few months. Positive thoughts are keeping us through this.
    Hope to resume blogging soon to keep sanity. Sorrythat I keep delaying this.
    Cheers-
    Rowena

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  14. SandiJuly 25, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    Oh sweetie, I know how hard it is. My mom raged when I had to wipe her bottom for her. It's not like we don't owe them that and so much more. Somehow though, I don't see you or I acting any differently. We came by our stubborn honestly.

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  15. fingersJuly 25, 2011 at 5:23 PM

    Rowena-I love your blog so much and I have tagged you for a Sunshine Award! I have been trying to email you but it keeps coming back to me! The official post will go up tomorrow, if you are interested. Glad your mom is doing better.

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  16. katJuly 30, 2011 at 2:07 AM

    Dear Rowena
    im sorry to read this post about your mother and wish you both the best. i found this blog 2 days ago and have just finished reading all your posts, which i thoroughly enjoyed.really i haven't enjoyed reading a blog this much in such a long long long time!! and so i just wanted to leave you a little comment saying how much i appreciated your posts and i honestly look forward to your new site and more writing!
    Wish you all the best.
    Kat

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  17. CominicaAugust 6, 2011 at 9:24 PM

    i'm sorry to hear that :(
    be strong >_< , i love my mum too~ <3 <3

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  18. KiAugust 11, 2011 at 10:21 AM

    sending your mom my best wishes and you lots of strength!

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  19. RowenaAugust 16, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    Dear Sandi-
    It really is a pleasure to hear from you. Thank you for sharing your experience as well. These things are not easy but it did help me to vent.
    I have been avoiding my blog for a few weeks now. Do not want to overwhelm you guys with negativity.
    My mum, is back with a vengeance now, getting strong and recovering. She is such a fighter- I am so happy she decided to embrace life once again!

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  20. RowenaAugust 16, 2011 at 5:57 PM

    Dear Fingers-
    Thank you, thank you for your words and wow- a sunshine award for beauty's resident biatch- i do not know if i deserve that:-)
    Will fix that email, really have been out of it recently. Wont you try -beautyandthebullsh.t@gmail.com for the meantime?
    Will try to get my arse back to blogging now. I just cannot get myself to blog if i do not have anything meaningful to say.

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  21. RowenaAugust 16, 2011 at 6:00 PM

    Dear Kat-
    Thank you for taking the time to read my posts and to write me about them.
    I do love blogging (I am the first one to chuckle at my own jokes, self centered that I am) and hope I can really get this going now -and yes, I know i am beginning to sound like the boy who cried wolf- but gah- how i try. I will get there and i hope you stick around.

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  22. RowenaAugust 16, 2011 at 6:15 PM

    Dear Cominica-
    Thank you for your reassuring words! they really help.

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  23. RowenaAugust 16, 2011 at 6:16 PM

    Dear Ki-
    Thank you! They really work- all these positive thoughts our way.

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  24. UlmielAugust 18, 2011 at 8:27 PM

    This post really touched me. I think this is one of the greatest fears of us all. That our bodies let us down. I know mine is. I hope your mom will get better soon! My grandmother had similar problem a few months ago, I felt horrible for her, being in that bed 24/7. But it got better. I hope it will for you too!

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  25. UnknownAugust 18, 2011 at 10:38 PM

    Bless you and your mom--
    Sending good energy your way!

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  26. 6eg89344September 9, 2011 at 2:40 PM

    Please don't see as creepy, but I check here a couple times a week, hope you and you're mom are okay. -your sister Denise

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  27. LisaSeptember 17, 2011 at 1:57 PM

    That was really touching. So sorry to hear that Rowenna, really hope you're ok. Some of what you said about the frailty of the human body will probably stay with me for a long time.

    I guess this would be a good place to thank you for your efforts in writing this blog. I asked some advice from you a couple of months ago about FMCGs etc. and I just wanted to say thanks again. :)

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  28. JaniceOctober 4, 2011 at 11:58 PM

    That's a great post, Rowena. I hope you're OK and hanging in there. I don't know the situation with your mom, but for me it was hard seeing my mom go through chemo this year. It's hard seeing anyone we care about as frail and mortal like that.

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  29. CarolOctober 9, 2011 at 6:41 PM

    Dear Rowena.. Hope ur doing better now.. we really miss ur posts.. :(

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  30. RowenaOctober 13, 2011 at 1:31 PM

    Hello Ulmiel!

    Thank you for these heartwarming words. My mum is better!
    She has to take quite a number of maintenance medicines but she is good. And the air is lighter my side of the world again!

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  31. RowenaOctober 13, 2011 at 1:32 PM

    Thank you Little Goddess- These positive energy helped!

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  32. RowenaOctober 13, 2011 at 1:33 PM

    Hello Denise-
    Not at all! Thank you for checking and sorry to be disappointing for a few months now. Tables have turned, I am back! I missed you too!

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  33. RowenaOctober 13, 2011 at 1:33 PM

    Dear Lisa,
    Oh, that is really sweet! Thank you and hope i haven't lost you for being absent too long.

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  34. RowenaOctober 13, 2011 at 1:34 PM

    Dear Tugce,
    Thank you for the very touching comment as well! Sending you sunshine over to Turkey!

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  35. RowenaOctober 13, 2011 at 1:36 PM

    Hi Janice-

    I send you my prayers as well. Hang in there and be strong sister!

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  36. RowenaOctober 13, 2011 at 1:38 PM

    Dear Carol,

    Oh thank you! And thank you for not giving up on me just yet.
    Though my wordpress transfer is really taking annoyingly long, I am posting in this messy blogger platform in the meantime.

    I have happier posts- hope this does not disappoint:-)

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  37. UnknownMarch 6, 2012 at 9:27 PM

    This is beautiful. Your mom's spirit, your writing and insights, your nephew's artwork. All full of beauty. My thoughts are with you!

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    Replies
    1. RowenaMarch 19, 2012 at 6:21 PM

      Thank you Jessica. She is right now sound asleep beside me and to this I am thankful.

      Delete
  38. RowenaMarch 19, 2012 at 6:19 PM

    Thank you Maria Oliveira! I will take a peek.

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  39. UnknownApril 1, 2013 at 4:52 PM

    Thanks Dear so nice blog

    Yes me to love Mum

    ReplyDelete

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