Bullshit Bedtime Story : The Brush Brush-Off with L'Ucifer


Before I make the next bullshit police arrest,  I would like to tell you a bullshit short story.  

For this short story and the next to come (if i manage to evade prison) , i would like to use my disclaimer/skip jail card.

Bullshit Short Story 1: The Brush Brush-Off With L'Ucifer

Once upon a time, in a little town somewhere in Germany, there was a small company who was little known to most of the world.  

But, to the people who work in mascaras, in spite of its size, its reputation of having the best mascara brushes in the whole industry was unparalleled - for it had the passion for innovating on brushes that had been passed from one generation to the next.  

One day,  they had the most fortunate news of having one of the world's top brand, who, (for the purpose of the story teller's preference for  a life outside of prison), we will hide under the name of  L'Ucifer - interested in their brushes.  This will mean an assured income not only for the current employees but for the children of their children beyond.  

Such was great news for this small german company in this small german town!

To finalize the partnership though, they were required to train a representative of L'Ucifer on their mascara brush know-how.

The small german company did as they were asked and gave L'Ucifer's rep the best training  and the most charming hospitality that this small village can muster - they regaled him with german beer and sausages as the little village knew how.  

After the training, all of them were so happy  - for this, was the start of a future brighter than they had ever known.

Days have passed but the finalization of the partnership, in one way or another got delayed.  Days went on, and it was becoming a blur.

One day- they did hear from L'Ucifer but it was not from the managers they spoke to nor the representative they had cradled in training.  It was but rather  from L'Ucifer's stable of lawyers.

L'Ucifer had patented all the technologies that they have been taught by our small german company. 

And the army of lawyers have dropped by to kindly inform our small german brush company that as they have become property of L'Ucifer, that the German company may never use their brush technology ever again.

What ensued after that, little more did I know of.  

But the question that came to my mind is - 

"Can any company who can do this really be worth it?"


P.S.
Call me paranoid.  But it might interest you to print-screen this post just in case I will be forced to take this post out.  

43 comments:

  1. I woke up today to a great news- chirp chirp!

    My followers are up to 3 digits now and of those, I only had to coerce one to join (the teenage daughter of my gurlfrun, while her mom was not looking!)
    Woohoo! I feel the lurv! Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. How about just copying the post and saving? Is that allowed?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hm, I never thought something like that would ever happen to anyone or anything German.
    Anyhow, were at least this brushes really best in the world?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh yes- please do! Thanks!
    I actually do not mind people reposting my stuff so long as it is given credit and link back.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Sandra- Funny comment!
    I have not known a lot of brush suppliers- but only because everyone before me said there is no need to look further than them germans.
    As my post in mascara goes, there is not one mascara that is the best for everyone. You have to find the one that suits you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Have a screenshot! Evil stuff really... I need to review my mascara purchases...

    ReplyDelete
  7. This story makes me wanna through out all my make-up from that devilish brand! :(

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ack! That was indeed devilish of the big company to do to the small company!

    On a tangent, could you enlighten your readers as to why Germany is the home of much cosmetics innovation? I've noticed that all high-quality eyeliner pencils (both at low and high price points) are manufactured in Germany.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Incredible...truth IS stranger then fiction.
    Btw LOVE the moniker ! L'Ucifer hahaha... 1 guess as to who that is.

    Just a suggestion, but maybe you can do blind post (blind vice) ala ted casablanca on eonline, on the companies that you're speaking of so that you're not liable.

    ReplyDelete
  10. That's really evil! How could such a small company fight against a global villain? Shouldn't they have a fleet of "R&D experts" to make better brushes? They are robbers! I just wish the German family could get over ......

    Thanks Rowena! Thanks for risking your life! And congratulations for having more and more readers!

    ReplyDelete
  11. woot to 4 digit reader!!

    ugh, that is absolutely infuriating. how is that legal?

    ReplyDelete
  12. L'or...L'Ucifer could be sued and maybe even beaten since they must have filed much falsified documentation to claim that they had invented/developed all these things that had in reality been developed generations ago by the German family. But who has the kind of money needed to undertake such a suit? Sadly, no one interested in doing so.

    I for one will never purchase another thing from them. I have purchased many of their products over the years and my little protest is less than a gnat's fart against a hurricane...but sometimes these things spread and Karma is a bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hello Ana Marta, Nelleke Sandi-

    Thank you for this feedback and hurray to your resolve to refrain from buying this brand. You might want to know however that this comany comes in many guise, not just the brand L'Ucifer. To know which brands are under this company, check the beauty Top 50 list in http://www.scribd.com/doc/3027409/Top-100-Cosmetic-Manufacturers

    You will find that it can be very hard to avoid them! They come in many forms.:-)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi Justine, Vonzi,
    I think you are on the verge of a very big discovery on cosmetics regarding your questions on Germany, product recycling, etcetera. Knowing the answer will put you on a point of no return-either dreams shattered or penny wiser, depends how you want to see it.
    I will reveal that on the next post but will wait till i have enough readership to drop the big bomb.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi Jona-

    I checked on that casablanca guy (and then got sidetracked to gofug yourself- man, gwyneth is really orange!) but do not quite know how more i can keep doing this and still be protected aside from keeping it blind. I will look into it laters! Thanks for the suggestion!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hi Cathy Lee-

    Fleet of R&D experts?! Haha!
    Gawd, we cosmetic people are really evil for leading you to believe that all along! But there is a half truth to that. But big area really- this deserves a big big post! Sorry to keep you hanging like this- but yes, only because we have a very complex web of lies that has to be thought out well before writing so it becomes clear.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hmmmmmmmm, it appears the husband will have to find a new shampoo and I will have to find a new favorite perfume. Other than those two items we are L'Ugly free. It helps that I purchase pretty much all my cosmetics from small, indie companies found on the net (except mascara).

    ReplyDelete
  18. unfortunately Essie, Lush and other brands now also are part of the luciferous system, but since I only liked 8 Essie polishes and bought them in the past and I can also live without Lush, I think I'm also pretty much lucifer-free.

    Funny thing is, I never liked that brand in the first place because of all the french names *lol* honestly.
    Even the ads turned me off.
    Only once I gave in and purchased a lucifery hair dye and guess what, it totally ruined my hair, it was all dried out and jejune and I was afraid of it falling out. True story. I also told all my friends about it in the past and none of them was/is a big lucifer-fan.

    So I've been on the save side all along *giggles*

    That thing with the German family is mean, bad, evil and somehow typical and I bet Lucifer shrugs and says "it is done this way all the time by everyone all over the world".
    And that's the real problem behind it ^^

    When I read the shocked comments from the other girls, I was like "and you are what, surprised by that?"

    It's like the industrial production of food, no one cares about the occasional mouse chopped into the apple sauce, it's like "not poisonous means edible for us, we just put in some more flavor" or my personal favorite, "not-inflammable is not a challenge!" (which in my personal world translates to "as long as no one really tries to, no one will notice").
    Maybe the last one is a bit too strange, ignore that ;)

    Big companies do stuff like that, all the time and everywhere.

    You need big mojo to keep them off ^^

    ReplyDelete
  19. caitlyn: Lush does not belong to the luciferous system. They're still independent and remain true to their policies.

    ReplyDelete
  20. ah, you're right! I mixed them up with The Body Shop. My mistake ;)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hi Sandi- May the force be with you! I do not instigate it but I am glad you did. I also do not buy anything from them, though I think I slipped with 1 brand once.

    Hi Caitlyn- Yes, it is shocking still, somehow you suspect - but these stories get buried and forgotten as if they never happened. I think what is great about this internet and blogging is that they do not have to be anymore- which is a real grace.
    What I cannot understand is, these companies already earn so much, yet they are greedy to make more than what they need and if that means trampling on the little guys- so be it. It does not have to be that way- it can be win-win and we can all be bountiful. Or is that me being an idealistic fool?

    ReplyDelete
  22. well, if it is, I am a fool with you ^^ when the big companies already make gazillions of dollars and want more more more, then something is not right. Little family companies are a great thing, in my opinion, and much more creative and honest than the big fish. Again, in my opinion.

    Think what happened to BP ... they wanted to save money on this and that and that and whooom, the whole thing blew up - quite literally - and now they have to pay millions of dollars. Unfortunately, no one can repair the damage the oil caused to the sea, the beaches, the plants and especially all the animals, all those who died, all those who will die.

    sighs.

    But how can you protect the small companies from the big ones with all their lawyers and marketing- and media strategists? ...

    ReplyDelete
  23. I have copied and pasted your post elsewhere Rowena (with credit of course). People are starting to get really angry about this kind of stuff, maybe if word spreads it can hurt them. One can hope.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Gawd Sandi- this is GREAT! Thank you for taking the extra step!
    To anyone else who wants to repost this- please feel free, but only if you really want to of course.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hi Caitlyn-

    Yeah, hard to protect small companies. I, as entrepreneur have been beaten quite often- as I cannot afford litigation which are so expensive, I just have to charge it to experience, stay positive and move ahead.:-)
    My heart bleeds for these small entrepreneurs. Lots of sharks out there.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh no!! My favorite shampoo EVER is a L'Ucifer! What should I do, oh wise Rowena?? I am outraged by that story! What brand can I trust to clean my hair??? ;_;

    ReplyDelete
  27. Rowena, I also posted your blog (especially the mascara-parts) in several threads of my favorite beautybord ;)
    Interestingly, only positive comments followed, there was not a single negative comment ^^


    cuteychao, oh no, you're playing with the devil!
    Quick, rinse your hair with the next available fresh handmade biological shampoo, handmade by an ecologist at midnight under a full moon with handpicked herbs without any silicons or parabens or preservatives, but WITH extracts of freshly picked ripe, sweet, succulent fruit!
    And herbs!
    Oh I already mentioned them ... well, they're important :p
    And handpicked!
    Did I mention that?
    Yeah I did. Okay. Good.

    That brave ecologist nearly got bitten by a dozen fruitbats while undertaking this task, only so you can be rescued!

    And now for the disclaimer: no fruitbats have been harmed during this fairytale, nor do I think that handmade ecologic shampoos without preservatives or other chemical stuff are compulsory better than others ^^

    But you might just give it a try and find out for yourself ^^

    I myself deeply LOVE those shampoos by certain companies that offer like 400 scents for scenting them (like fresh cut grass, blueberry muffins, vanilla hazelnut café, chocolate mud cake, cherryblossoms, etc) and that produce those shampoos always fresh, also with no parabens or preservatives ...

    Also Lush seems to be a nice company ^^

    BUT - I've been a huge fan of Panthene Pro V Volume Shampoo for the last 10 years or so ^^ so no one's perfect :-D

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hi Cuteychao!

    Heehee, i do not know quite how to handle your comment- part of me says- yeah I am wise, yeah!
    The other part says- ow, c'mon, rowena, you are so full of naive idealistic shit, wake up and smell the shampoo, get a corporate bullshit job and just be a rich bitch!
    But just writing the latter, i somehow hope that not choosing to be a rich bitch is somehow wise. Oops, excuse me for flaunting my existential questions online.

    But hey, shampoo should be easily replaceable non? Pantene is by P&G, for example, Unilever also makes decent ones, then there's Wella. Well, let us compare notes, let me know what you have- i am also one big sucker for shampoo.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hi Caitlyn- Wow! Thank you!
    Gawd, we do not have lush here (i am missing out i feel). I will be looking into that with a cool blogger i met- i hope soon enough.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hi, Rowena! Thanks for the reply (and thank you as well, Caitlyn! =))! I do think it's wiser to choose not to be a rich bitch at others' expenses, lol!
    My problem is I have no idea which brands I can trust! Or rather, I don't know which brands are NOT evil doers like L'Ucifer!

    ReplyDelete
  31. hey cuteychao- now with my disclosure, perhaps i can convince a shampoo maker out of you:-)

    ReplyDelete
  32. L'Oreal financially backs and supports Israel's arms policies against the Palestinian people (this basically translates to supporting the killing of men, women, and children)

    so naturally I boycotted it, personally.

    But I checked out that list of companies owned by L'oreal and it seems it's be quite extensive. It'll take great willpower to cut out my regular purchasing and search for companies not connected to L'oreal type brands, perhaps I could find some online though.... :( Sigh...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for this bit. No more L'or...ugh L'Ucifer crap!

      Delete
  33. luv ur L'Ucifer . . . it bought my fave French icon last last last year :((( mega sigh! its proportion is getting scary big . . . sweepingsounds just laid out the red carpet.

    for hairpoducts: check my fave: cutrin (finnish) and klippoteket (swedish). for cosmetic check Lumen (finnish), not my fave. not meant to ad but to add info . . .

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hi Sweepingsounds-
    Really? Please provide a link here. Google has this bad habit of screening comments that have links in them (i think it is in their effort to minimize spammers. If you have difficulty,, you can email me and i will post it here.
    rowena@beautyandthebullshit.com

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hi LRM!
    Welcome to the site!
    Brussels is so deprived- we do not have these brands here! I heard of this guy who didn't use soap or shampoo for a year and smells good nonetheless- it is pretty radical for me- but hmmm....
    http://www.grist.org/article/2011-01-05-guy-stops-using-soap-for-a-year-loves-it

    ReplyDelete
  36. No. banging head on desk. (and it hurts when you hit your forehead on the keyboard.)

    ReplyDelete
  37. Hello Barefoot Domestic Goddess-
    gawd I lurv your pseudo!
    sad this story eh? all in a day's work in l'ucifer land!
    oh, deliver me from evil!

    ReplyDelete
  38. O.M.G. this cannot happen to a German company! :-( I, too, would love to get some recommendations about products not linked with L'ucifer.

    Now, to be honest, I think their main make.up brand, L'ucifer, Pariah is pretty shite. So I won't miss that. Neither Lancome or Garnier. But I'll miss Vichy hmph... Think I'll replace it with Avene though. One thing I know: I am so not buying anything made by them any more. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  39. This story made me so sad and angry ;-( To think that said brand is my favorite because it is the most hiyang to my skin. What brand shall I use now..? All my other runner-up brands are also owned by L'_____.

    Couldn't the German company sue them? I mean, they'd have proof that they were visited by a representative from L' company.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Hello A.!
    Alas, the inside of the beauty business is anything but beautiful:-(
    You can help by being wiser consumers of cosmetics and not buying into this patented BS (which will be the subject of the next top ten tricks to make you buy more)- soon!

    ReplyDelete
  41. this is a pretty old post but I checked it out today and I wouldn't say it was shocking but it did serve an under-handed turn to the small company which was pretty bad....I have never used the brand except a hair mask of its latest range but t didn't quite impress me...but, avoiding the brand might become difficult as it is truly very extensive.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Regina - you are the end all be all of intelligent beauty bloggers. I featured this fantastic bedtime story in a blogpost of mine.

    ReplyDelete