PMS Journal: PMS PRIMER



Warning: Though this post might be helpful to the male species, I would like to forewarn them of morbid language. I advise just to look at the video below for some enlightenment.

Welcome to PMS Journals!  A new section of Beauty and the Bullshit.

I figured that if people can post updates on what they have for every meal, then I can push the envelope a teeny tiny bit to update everyone about the state of my ovulation cycle.

For when I am PMSing (premenstrual syndrome for the uninitiated), that wonderful time in the menstrual cycle just after ovulation and before the actual bleeding, i believe (in my case at least), my hormones are a raging and I am one rabid woman. My ex can attest to this.

I think this is better with a video explanation…





Now, do not get me wrong, not all PMS is bad.

Good PMS exists and it is pretty easy to spot – when you want to move the sink to the living room, the sofa in the bathroom, the whole house and your whole life upsde down… that is good PMS.

It follows this chart but where the answer to the first  question is always "NO":

Which is governed by this:


But then, oh then … there is BAD PMS and VERY BAD PMS.

Ooooh, just the thought of it makes my hair stand on end…


At very bad PMS, I am known to unleash THE RED DRAGON- a stuff of legends . Not a lot of people have seen it but those who did have left and live to tell the tale.

So, i think my point is, …. hmmm, i don’t have any.

Just need a place where we can take everything light seriously, or serious things lightly.  Where we can express our passion or our rage and just rant away about how the earrings of Kate Middleton doesn't do anything to the tiara or the whole outfit or how bottled water is affecting the future of the galaxy (yes, i do have an opinion) or what I think of the Da Vinci Code or The Alchemist (crap) or why the fuck I still am single to this day.  Phew!

And PMS, here is your home.

Another option would be this- but i dont think it is happening anytime soon.  But am calling on interested female business partners and possible male prostitutes.


And since this is PMS country, we can gossip and bitch on anything as much as we want and we will blame it on hormones.  And if anyone is offended of my rantings, it is not me, it is PMS.  In this section, we got PMS immunity.

But, I promise you this, i will respect your counter—opinion and let us agree to disagree.

Gawd, I wonder how long will this last having PMS ing women in the room together.

Photo credit:
I would like to give credit to Thomas Fichter the artist photographer of the Warning police line do not cross, part of which I used for the PMS Journal artwork. I just stumbled upon his work.
I have not given him any money nor has he given me any for this. But I have provided here a link for you to thank him for sharing his excellent work .

12 comments:

  1. I love, love your blog! Am so happy you are back and doing this full time. And especially love the PMS category! Made me laugh so hard! Can't wait to see what else you have planned for us. I have you on my bloglist, to spread the joy that is you!
    www.fingerspolishmania.blogspot.com

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  2. Not to mention how terribly exhausted we (well, at least I) become right before and during! It's just that hard to be such an emotional, rip-roaring bitch! :) I can't help it. It's not me... it's "her", and her name is Flo. I resent her presence yet I don't look forward to menopause.

    Love the blog...so glad you're writing more now!

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  3. I think I have reverse PMS-I am bitchy for most of the month and then nice and calm for approximatly 1 week-

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  4. Hello Fingers- Oh thank you! Was kind of not sure about PMS - could be world war 3 brewing there. Heehee!
    Than you so much for the article- I really, really, really appreciate it! I will have a thank you link on my blog now as well!

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  5. Hi Liz, Hi Flo! Welcome to the blog both of you!:-)
    Yes, I will take leg numbness to menopause anytime too.

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  6. Ooooh Little Goddess- PMS could be taking over your real personality or could it be the other way around?

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  7. At least our hormones only screw with us a few days a month from puberty to menopause. Imagine being a man...the hormones kick in at puberty and most of them are controlled by those hormones until the day they die. Even it when it makes total fools of them (see the Arnold and Hef), they can't control it.

    And men have run things for centuries because WE have hormone issues???

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  8. Haha, major kudos on linking IT crowd. I almost pee my pants every single time I watch that episode. Great section!

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  9. That last little photo you used? Genius.

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  10. Hi Sandi!
    Oh gawd i have been out a long time, i overlooked your comment sorry!
    There is another theory that goes there is only enough blood to supply either the male brain or his hard on- not both.

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  11. Hi Ulmiel- Yes, I love IT crowd! Mad!

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