Smelly Pussy

Some of you may have had the good fortune of having a best friend.

That one person that picks on your flaws, calls you on your shit, embarrasses you in public, laughs at your drama, documents your misfortunes but that you know, deep, deep down inside loves you for all your shit.

Well, I have the fortune of coming from a town whose peculiarity is that everyone, from the town doctor to the street drunk, a grandmother to a preschooler- act as if they are your best friend.

They will call on your shit and keep you grounded, make a joke of your misfortunes and in their own weird way make you feel that life isn’t that hard if you don’t take everything too seriously. They are the types of assholes that if you can see the lightheartedness of their assholeness actually toughens and tenderizes you up for school and the school of life.

In fact, our town sport could well be :

“let’s see who can come up with the best insult

and whoever gets affected loses”.

And with generations of practice, nobody loses his shit over insults, over a string of words.


Anyway, we have an event that we look forward to in the month of May which could well be the town’s olympic sport. It is called “Flores de Mayo” and here, the most beautiful women gets to wear over the top gowns and a crown and gets paraded all over town to be admired for their beauty. And as you would expect of our town- be called on their flaws.

So, in one of these parades, we stood waiting and unleashing the best insults for every girl that passes. And mind you, we are all in this fun little town exercise together, so the girls can whip back insults of their own- a beautiful camarederie of tough love give and take.

But then came, the last one. The “Reyna Elena” position assigned to the most beautiful one.

She was flawless. And us, speechless.

Everyone searched for a flaw but failed. No one can come up with nothing in what seemed like an eternity of searching and silence. Till an elderly woman from the back broke the silence and said-

She has a smelly pussy.

So I guess, the moral of this story is this:

We all have flaws.  You can punish yourself needlessly and be in denial of it.

Or you can accept it, laugh about it and use it to connect yourself to a wonderfully flawed world.

That is, of course, if you aren’t blindsided by a smelly pussy.